


All The Scars On My Body And Soul

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28515546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Nikki is taken back to the past during his first sexual encounter with Mick.
Relationships: Mick Mars/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	All The Scars On My Body And Soul

Mick's hands were on his chest, and they felt warm, gentle, searching, traveling down from his nipples down to the waistband of his jeans. They were light, almost grazing, but then they became firmer. Mick's nails lightly dragged along the delicate expanse of Nikki's waist, and it tickled. Nikki shivered. The air felt cold, and Mick's body was heavy on his legs. 

_There was the strong smell of whiskey, and a grizzled cheek pressed up against his face. Harsh fingers grabbed at his thighs. Frank snarled, pulling on his split lip, curling his hands into fists. "Let go of me, you ugly fuck!" He snapped, and his stepfather brought his hand down again, striking Frank on his face, sending a stinging bolt of pain through his skull._

What was the difference between wanting and needing? Nikki needed this to prove to himself that he was not afraid, that he wasn't a coward, not a child, but he didn't want this. His heart was beginning to pound. His ribcage began to constrict. Nikki's palms began to sweat and he curled his fists into the sheet. 

_"Do you like this?" Roy whispered, his voice like a snake, slithering throughout the air, giving rise to things that some people couldn't speak of. "Do you like this, boy?"_

"I don't like this." Nikki whispered. "I don't want this." 

_Roy had the look of smug knowledge in his eyes. He pinned Frank underneath his weight, his hand rising and pressing down onto the boy's throat, fingers tightening and threatening. Frank coughed, grabbing Roy's arm and trying to pull him off. "Get off of - me! Get off - "_

"What?" Mick said. 

_"Shush, shush, shh." Roy pressed down tighter, and Frank gagged, coughing. "You can't fight me, Frankie, so don't even try."_

"I don't like this!" Nikki pulled back, his hands digging for purchase. "I don't want this, please don't make me do this." He pressed his back against the headboard, feeling like he was running out of breathe. Nikki dug his hands into his hair and pulled, the temporary pain giving him the moment of release. There were imaginary hands pressing down onto his waist and a leg pressed against his thighs to keep him immobile and he couldn't breathe, why couldn't he breathe? 

Mick pulled back toward the edge of the bed, until he was practically on the precipice of falling. Just a moment ago, everything was fine, everything was okay, and now Nikki sounded like he was dying and Mick was left confused and wondering what'd gone so wrong, if he'd somehow hurt Nikki. 

_Frank was silent, his thumb and forefinger pulling at his bottom lip and making the cut on his lip burn. "Mom." He said, and the name - no, the word fell into the air._

_From the other side of the table, Deanna looked up. "Yes?" She said._

_"Earlier, Roy did it again." Frank said. His voice was monotone, and startlingly harsh, all things considered. He swung his legs, and they hit the table. "He - he touched me again, and he pulled down my p-pants and - did things to me." He felt dirty, disgusted at himself and his body._

_Deanna pursed her lips. "Well, honey, Frankie." She sighed. "Maybe you shouldn't have made him do that."_

_"What?" Frank felt his heart twist._

_"Sometimes, people just can't control themselves, hon." Deanna took a bite of her toast. "Did you provoke him?"_

_Unable to answer, or perhaps just unsure about what to answer with, Frank only stared, white hot anger coarsing through his body alongside dull sadness. "No."_

_"We!l, that's what you think. You shouldn't provoke him, Frankie, like mowing the lawn without your shirt. Who knows what some people will think. And Roy - well, he has special interests, and can't control himself sometimes. You should've done better. Maybe you were being coy. Don't be like that - it's irritating." Deanna shook her head. "If he does it again, then don't fight it, okay? Your grandparents are visiting tomorrow, and they already think that I'm an unfit mother."_

Mick debated on what he was supposed to say or do, not wanting to make things worse, but also not wanting to just sit aside in such a situation. "Nik." He eventually said in a quiet tone, not daring to move from his spot at the edge of the bed. "Would you like me to leave?" 

"No. No. Don't leave. Don't leave me." Nikki heaved in a desperate breathe through his clenched teeth, gritted so hard that it made his jaw ache. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone." 

"Okay, okay, I'm not gonna leave you." Mick soothed. "Can I touch you?" 

"I don't know." Nikki pressed himself back into the headboard. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, it was - my - " He pressed his hand against his heart and it was like a jackhammer against his ribcage. 

Mick knew that there were a million things wrong - Nikki never apologizes, and he never acts like this. "Hey, it's fine. It's all cool." He paused for a moment, and then reached out. 

Underneath Mick's tentative touch, Nikki was tense and he was shaking. Mick frowned, debated questions, and then pushed them away. "Okay." He sighed, because the questions weren't really questions - they were suspicions, and a great deal would prove to be correct. "Do you wanna go watch a movie or somethin'?" He asked instead. 

"Yeah." Nikki nodded, and he twisted his head away to hide the tears. He placed his hand on Mick's. "That sounds fun." 

"Alright." Mick said, grasping Nikki's hand and smoothing his thumb over the callused back, squeezing it in silent reassurance. ' _What happened to you? What did those people do to you?'_ He thought, but didn't ask. 

All Mick could do was soothe away Nikki's shivers and smile to drown away his fears. 


End file.
